According to many of my former family law clients, love is just that. Four letters, not necessarily starting with ‘L’.
That said, assigning a definition to love is tricky. It’s loaded with both de-light and de-dark LOL. Perhaps the only thing we can all agree on is that it does, indeed, have four letters, in the English language anyway.
Is love possible to define?
Even though the law has definitions for everything, trust me, I was a lawyer, I can assure you, the law has no definition for love. It was briefly mentioned in a 1928 UK case1 citing a biblical rule that you are to ‘love your neighbour’. Sounds lovely.
Perhaps conveniently forgetting to mention the rest of the rule ‘…as thyself,’2 focus shifted from love to the neighbour. Happy birthday law of negligence. Thanks, legal system!
Christianity, for instance, claims that God is love. But if that means love is God, then my entire theory about it being a four-letter word collapses. Thanks, theology!
[There may indeed be deities with four lettered names. Please don’t tell me - it will ruin my theory and I like facts that only fit within my theories.]
Poetry, songs, essays, and books all attempt to capture love in words. But have they given us a foolproof definition? Not quite.
If love can’t truly be defined, perhaps I should draw it instead. Let’s see... it has all the elements. It has a heart. My little friend Joob (who’s coming soon to a story near you) looks marshmallowy soft, gentle, and kind.
Surely Joob defines love? Joob has four letters.
What do you think?
I know, she’s a drawing.
But love must exist. It’s advertised everywhere. It’s in the anti-wrinkle cream, the Caribbean holiday, and the shiny new car you absolutely need.
Love is out there. Somewhere. But you can’t have it unless you’re ‘good.’ Maybe that’s why we really don’t know what it is—because we haven’t been ‘good’ enough.
I have another P.O.V. on love.
… and Joob gives us a hint. Thanks, Joob!
See her inner pink glow? Now feel your own inner pink glow. It’s in there. Look around … keep looking.
Okay, okay, I hear you.
That’s called stress. It tends to happen when you’re looking for love.
Let’s imagine you’re petting a puppy or kitten, watching a sunrise, or kissing someone you love gently on the cheek. What do you feel? It feels lovely, doesn’t it?
Those actions aren’t love of themselves, but when you’re doing them, you’re usually feeling that inner glow.
That glow is love, and it is ‘inner.’
It’s a feeling that you alone can access anytime you want to, with or without sunrises, kisses, or puppies.
It’s not something you earn; no one can give it to you, and no one can take it away.
To me, that is love.
I love, love and being at peace with what is. Via my own experiences, both personally and professionally, I show you how you can readily access that inner glow of yours in my book Not Guilty: Finding Peace in Three Simple Steps.
Donoghue v Stevenson [1932] AC 562
Matthew 22:39